Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
Just shaved my legs with toilet water in a walgreens bathroom. I am so classy.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
Just woke up from a dream where you lived in a gingerbread house on a snowy cliff by the sea. The dolphins were swimming away from a giant dust storm. You REALLY ought to smoke this before bed tonight.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Randomize