It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Day #3 of being the only sober person at the bar. This is depression.
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Instead of getting a taxi some gay black guy drove us home. He is trying to break into the taxi business
Way to promote small business.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
No one should ever be so high that they forget the food. That's just...its a violation of God and Nature, of the very laws that we live by!
Me and my bruised tit have to wake up at 4 AM.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
