Ps I don't think it counts as being open minded if you didn't know he was missing a leg until you had already started making out.
i just woke up reverse cowgirl on my couch. fully clothed. my laptop is on the floor sideways. blasting gay porn and lady gaga. pizza crust everywhere. goodmorning.
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
It was one of those "how did I get to my bed and what am I wearing" mornings.
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
Awkward, walking to my bootycall's hotel room and run into my dad leaving his. Just nodded to each other and went on our ways
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
You ate ashes out of my bong
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
Randomize
