He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
I look like a bag of dicks so if you could ugly yourself up that'd be great.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
He had Homeward Bound on VHS how was I supposed to not fuck him
How the fuck did he think me asking about the possibility of a threesome was a rhetorical question?
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
Randomize
