His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
I have way too much money in my bra to be responsible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
Google Maps needs to have a hungover setting. That bitch talks too loud and all I want is breakfast tacos & a bloody fucking mary.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
MY TITS JUST CAUSED A CAR ACCIDENT ON THE HIGHWAY! i kid you not!! i thinl the giy is actually dead
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