sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
My vagina is trying to run away to Boston without me.
i know i should keep better track of the things that i put in your vagina but i've put so many things in there it's hard to keep track
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
Why the fuck are you playing with legos?
Why the fuck are you questioning me?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
