you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
I'm in a trailer park. But I'm not scared. The virgin always lives.
i'm pretty sure i saw my life flash before my eyes when we ran a red light. i continued to drink and be the drunk backseat driver.
It's like he's trying to get head in every car except his.
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
I hopped in a random dudes car outside the strip club at 3pm on a Sunday and said "Follow that car!"
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
You're a wizard. You are a master of disguise. You are beautiful. I love you.
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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