i realized my work ethic and productivity really improves if i masturbate on my lunch break.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
going to the gym drunk. fuck whoever made basketball season and getting a spring break ready body in the same season.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
What's a quick way to get over an ex-boyfriend? To hear about how he threw up in a cup and then drank it. That's how.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
TIL a potato cannon can be loaded with dildos as ammunition. Boy, do our neighbours love us!
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
MY TITS ARE PERFECTLY CALM.
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Sitting across the table from one of my high school teachers who hasn't seen me since I was about 16 drinking a beer wearing a leotard
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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