Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
Guy in the room next to us in the ER is chanting "I'm jeff and I'm drunk". He's trying to get released to finish tailgating for the Iowa game that starts in 9 hours.
rumor has it I kept asking you to go to the "tall grass" with me...sorry about that.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
I mean I'm into guys with money but more into guys I'm actually attracted to
yeah i guess i'd rather he was hot than rich
wow i don't know if that qualifies as growing up but if it does i'm all in
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
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