that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
her boyfriend dumped her for my exgirlfriend. so filming our hookup is pretty much a definite.
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Having weed delivered to your door is like having your own personal Santa Claus
Being responsible doesn't make memories.
It's like the cookie assaulted me with being high.
All the doctor said was why
Drunk me left sober me a shower beer in expectation of Hurricane Harvey. Drunk me is the best.
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
Randomize
