Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
After throwing up, the toothpaste tasted so good. Thank you for not letting me eat it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
Remember when we made you finish your beer after you puked into your glass?
i hate being the asshole.
Thanksgiving. This year's theme: I am thankful that I still have a liver.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
After much deliberatipn and vodka, my favourite phrase of Christmas 2012 is "penis of last resort"
I don't know if I want context or not...
Context involves faux incest and champagne. Id go into detail but im on shot number 5.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
He goes to Columbia so regardless of how he looks I should fuck him right?
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
Listen, you can either give me drugs or an orgasm. You decide.
Randomize