Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
giving him head while hes talking to his fiancee on the phone about inviting me to their wedding.... im invited. should i go or would that be wrong?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
That dude you fucked three years ago just won Jeopardy
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
It would just be icing on the fucked up cake we're baking, if he got me pregnant.
Can we go out and do something semi fancy soon? I feel like wearing a dress and pretending to be an adult.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
If you take a post shower shit just get back in bed. You're better off starting your whole morning all over again.
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
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