OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
You give one guy a hand job and suddenly everyone wants to get with you
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Of course, I believed he would find me irrestible...sloppy drunk, chugging from a bottle of chardonnay, and completely naked because those kids stole my clothes as I was swimming on their private beach
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
I'm a 23 year old virgin. I've masturbated in ways you can't even imagine.
why is my underwear the only thing i was wearing that smells like vodka?
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
All I could think of during that funeral was how great I look in a suit, how creepy catholics are, and how horny I am.
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
Would it be inappropriate to trade Christmas cookies for sex?
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
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