I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
I don't have the money to get a cast so we made one from stuff at the craft store.
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Just think. Tomorrow you'll wake up, shower, and get your brains fucked out. That's your ice cream. Today is your peas and carrots.
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
Kripsy Kremes at our place, bring your own coffee. And your own donuts because these ones are ours.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I wanted lighthearted conversation about ordering bulk condoms and anal lube but he's depressed and talking about god hating him, ugh
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
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