i seriously hope you fucking die....you are the worst.
SHit! Sorry, sent to wrong person
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
Thank God for cruise control and the Starbucks cup I had to puke in.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
we need to start a braincell conservation fund for you, sort of like save the whales or something.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
I don't trust his life but I trust his penis.
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
Randomize
