Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
i was blowing him and "what if god was one of us" came on his playlist. I had to leave
his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
You're probably reading this when you wake up from your "nap" in the front yard. Maybe next week you should go to class, and not start Thirsty Thursday at 9:30 in the morning.
I don't fucking care about the convenience of not having freudian slips. I spent 2009-2011 screwing around with 3 different Daniels. 2012 WILL be the dawn of a new day
How about a mike?
Already had two of those
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
I was just the victim of a drive by judging in a horse and buggy.
The fuck? Where?
St. Mary's. Amish people. Too high for this.
What, I can't laugh at my sister being driven crazy by Facebook randomly assigning chat significance to the guy she lost her virginity to?
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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