He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Shrimp lo Mein doused in green apple Smirnoff is a rare delicacy only a few get to experience..guess I should consider myself lucky
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
i was asked to be gay of honor by three different girls and NONE of the groomsmen at any of the weddings is open to experimenting. i mean whats the point then.
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
I'm sorry about the spring break comment. I won't make anymore pornos, I promise.
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
Randomize
