Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
I need to move out. I just walk of shamed my way into a family breakfast party. There's no response when grandma says "where you coming from in heels at 9AM?"
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
