I feel like I'm in dance class right now
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
i just remembered last night waiting for you to pick me up wearing my bra on my head to protect me from the rain
Remember when spice girls "Two Become One" came on just as we were about to fuck? talk about a boner jam
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Randomize
