Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I wish they made helmets for livers.
we just drove by a car that was painted for a grad, it said "you done it!" with a confederate flag bumper sticker next to it. i love kentucky
I knew shit got real when the pinapple was gone and people were just passing around the core and gnawing on it.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
WERE YOU GOING TO TELL ME THERE WAS A LOAF OF BANANA BREAD IN THE OVEN BEFORE YOU LEFT FOR A 5 HOUR SHIFT??
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
Tomorrow I need you to slap me in the face. I'll explain then
Stop sending me pictures of you naked. This violates the friend zone agreement.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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