My first STD was from a foam party
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
Oh, and trying to figure out who wants to do Molly in a frat is like asking damn children if they want puppies and candy. So just bring as much as possible.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
The maid moved your bed and found almost 40 used condoms and wrappers. She just looks at me and says "Dave?"
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
Have you ever tried to have sex with a fairy? My penis is literally bigger than her.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize