Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
The other. Cat spoke to me and left. This shit is laced
The first cat might save me but they are taking out masks
So after he broke the crutches and got us kicked out of McDonalds, we stole a bike and when we got back to the hotel, he jumped out the window into the bushes.
Yeah when he is drunk, he seems to think he is Captain Americas Canadian counterpart, Captain Canuck
We can Fuck in the shower to save time
And this is why I like you. You're so damn innovative.
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
Friends don't let friends put redi whip in their wine
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
Is it wrong for me to wish my cat had arms to get me a beer?
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