his penis looked like arnold from hey arnold. it was interesting.
Sometimes I forget to take my socks off when I masturbate. This always makes me feel like I'm accidentally in a porn.
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
Just remembered seeing jalepenos in my vomit last night. Reminded me to thank you for sharing your queso with me. You're a good friend.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
What's the plan?
Not sure. I think I'll take a dump on his windshield.
soo... how was my night?
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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