non applicator tampons are so hard to put in when your drunk. i fingered myself for 10 minutes and forgot what i was trying to do.
its like whenever the snow comes all the hott girls drop out of school. where are they
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
At one point I was giving him a handjob and I started singing Call Me Maybe
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
Is it bad that I'm using the photo I took for my fake ID as my linkedin profile pic?
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
