I work with a guy that has a strong spanish accent. He just said "I have a plethora of ..." and I busted out into laughter b4 he finished his sentence b/c it reminded me of 3 amigos.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
You told me you loved me after I brushed your teeth with my index finger.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
They ran out of ice at the party, so I fixed my drink with frozen broccoli....the show must go on!
wanna come over? I have movies.
sure, what movies
porn or disney, your choice
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
The moment you tore my shirt off I knew I wanted to spend the rest of my life with you
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
Will you still call me Bond when I'm sober?
You threw away your W2 to make more room in your purse for liquor.
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
