My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
i have a real life question, do ur boyfriends pretend to be vampires ever?
dude i feel like at any given point 3/5 of that family is trying to fuck you
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw a 300lb woman fall down. Shes screaming like a beached manatee. Her 120lb boyfriend is trying to push her up. It's like watching an infant try to bench
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
New low: falling asleep with my face in the toilet only to be awoken when my hand slid down and touched the water. It's moments like these I wish I could forget.
Two questions. One. Where are you watching election results tomorrow? Two. Can we have Obama victory sex?
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
she said she just "wanted a guy who she could cook breakfast for". HUGE MISTAKE. I'm never leaving
Today would have been my 8th wedding anniversary and I woke up with a hot European guy in my bed. Divorce has it's perks.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
The gift for sixth anniversary is steel. He bought me handcuffs. Inee I married the right man!
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