You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
I need you to send me a picture of your dick. I want to forward it to that girl and you and i both know you're more impressively sized
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
I was stopped at a light on my way home and a priest threw holy water on my car. Seems fitting after last night.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
We found you in the bathroom at 1AM throwing money into the toilet making wishes. That drunk.
.... Seriously?
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
