how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
She's the rare girl who loses weight and gets uglier.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
My suggestion that we all just smoke some weed was greeted with a uncomfrotable silence and a 'maybe later'. These are not our people
I've never danced to a Michael Jackson song in a bar and left alone bro. Something in girls loves a guy who dances to mj
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I say this out of love and friendship. Eat ice cream not the d.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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