put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
Drunk in a bar in Texas. The 24 y/o hottie I am chatting up just called me a male cougar. I am dealing with this whole turning 40 thing juuuust fine.
She got a tattoo in memory of her cat, my attratcion to her is no more.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Yeah, he's passed out in my bathroom pantsless. Is it a faux pas to look at his penis?
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I don't think my professor is going to remember the Halloween party... or the fact that he made out with a priest.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Facebook is for cat videos and having better lives than people from high school, period.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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