She's NOT homeless...she graduated early.
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I need a Xanax. A Veggie Delight. And exhibition style sex.
I'm drunk in your building find me and we can have sex.
Dan I was a mess I made out with a 40 yr old who gave me a wad of cash for Christmas. Like wtf
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
When the vodka monkeys are playing a drum solo in my skull tomorrow, remind me I tried to sterilize my body from the inside with titos
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
Thanks for making me a drunk burrito last night and cutting it into bite size pieces, I always knew you were a keeper.
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
