Katie Perry lied, you can't just wake up and shake the glitter off your clothes.
After waking up today, I would like to find the Jesus preachers on campus to ask for help in asking for forgiveness to God.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
When I try to close my eyes ibwant to puke. Going to the basement to watch pocohantas. That'll keep myeyes open. And puke free.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
You had me on my knees catching cheese balls in my mouth and moaning. In front of all your friends.
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
What the World Series means to me is that I've slept with too many giants fans.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
We could just go to Vegas and celebrate my singlehood and not contributing to the population.
EMERGENCY SUBJECT CHANGE. SHE DOESN'T KNOW.
I wasn’t trying to be creepy it just happened
I’m beginning to think that’s your defining personality trait.
Randomize
