Tell him ill love him long time
I'll assure him of it
I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
Its like he got lessons from Jesus on how to use his tongue. And his dick.
Randomize
