oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
Oh my god. I just envisioned myself eating panda meat. I need to get out of this class.
well, if it werent for her you wouldnt have gotten a handjob in the middle of the bar. so, maybe you should thank her too.
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
I just compared his sexting to a plate of spaghetti. And he STILL wants to sleep with me.
You kept screaming, "Fuck her right in the personality" and then kissed a guy and slapped him across the face
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
I've only hooked up with engineers this year and it may be the best future financial decision I've ever made
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