I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
There is soup leaking out of my nose nothing in life has prepared me for this moment
After Madison dropped a bottle of full vodka an it shattered on the floor, it was quiet for literally 3 min straight and then drew said "the booze gods have spoken"
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
Turns out the owner of the bar that I fucked used to be on Boy Meets World, but now he's old and bald. So there's that..
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
He is a beautiful butterfly covered in tattoos and naked.
Randomize
