So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
Words i added to my t9 today: gnomes, facebook, and chlamydia.
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
just used my sex toy cleaning solution to clean my reading glasses. midterms are cramping my styleeee
i hope youre ready for a shit show because we just ordered a whole pitcher of red headed sluts
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a very hazy flashback of me making out with a guy in a seashell bra??! Can you confirm or deny
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
third nipple confirmed
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
I'm soaking her vibrators in tabasco and wasabi paste. "furious" is an understatement
Newest quarantine problem - I’ve watched all of the porn. Like everything on the the internet, all the DVDs, mags, VR, leisure suit Larry all of it and I’m still horny af
Randomize