I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
The good thing about walking home in a dress on sunday morning is that people mistake my walk of shame as a walk to God.
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
I don't know why people felt they couldn't use the toilet with me passed out in the tub. I shut the curtain. It was like being in another room.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
He drunk dialed me at 2am asking if he could put a baby in me.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
