He is either going to be in my pants or get a restraining order against me.
I just said that Oprah is crazy and like 5 fat white girls jumped down my throat. I sat back and smiled.
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
Ur creepiness is now affecting my life and I'm not okay with it
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
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