now i know why they say having sex with her is the equivalent to licking a pay phone
she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
If I refrain from fucking my manager, I'm going to reward myself by fucking that guy from the photo department.
my goal is to not remember how i make a living by 9pm saturday night
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
He just told me that when we were doing it I told him I was the captain and he was the boat. Im too embarassed to ask for money for a cab.
Sorry I disappeared. Do you hate me?
Not at all, did you not hear me clapping outside your car on our way out?
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
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