I know it's VERY late and i know i may have burdened you, but on the chance that it's sat nite- are you up or willing to be? Christinas camping and i'm chillin alone.
if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
I thought I had fell out of his trailer but he says I tried to ninja kick his TV stand saying those girls hula hooping were trying to seduce him. There wasn't anyone else there.
It's an open bar on a yacht... I'm going to drown.
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
You were laying in bed whispering and crying to the half eaten burrito saying "why am I shitting so much" and "what did I do to deserve this"
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
This is America. Deny every slut accusation or own up to it
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
Like, I just want a guy who will drop what he's doing to come touch my vagina whenever I want and to leave me the hell alone whenever I want. Is that SO MUCH TO ASK??
Randomize
