whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
My vagina is in bus station locker number 1465.You can go talk to it if u like -in the mean time I’m going 2show up drunk and embarrass u at work.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
he had his head down and said he was listening for the buffalo, he had to still be drunk.
remember to ask your mom about the name of her pet duck so we can name the bowl
I cant yet im literally covered in lube but I will later
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
She's cool and all but if she eats my food again I'm gonna fucking drop kick her ass. No one touches my lunchables. NO ONE.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
go for it girl, the world is ur dick oyster
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
And pointless. I'm fully vested in all my calories coming from booze today. The salad just fucks that shit up
Randomize
