I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
fuck he's narrating my life in a british voice make him stop im way too fucking high for this
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
I don't want to smoke with her when she's on adderall. She carved her pumpkin for four hours & didn't say a word.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
I liked a picture of him with his pants around his ankles, if that doesn't say I'm into you, I don't know what does.
apparently i tried to facetime the drunk bus last night, that's probably why we had to walk back to campus
Drunk ass.
I just used my VA prescription bottle of xanax to get a military discount at the liquor store. I win.
Only you could get away with that.
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My move is emasculating men with my superior intellect and it's not as charming when they can't see my huge rack.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
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