She laid down on my bed and played "I want you to want me" on my laptop. subtle.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I'm standing in the shower drinking with the light off and a candle lit, listening to Amy Winehouse. Be proud.
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
The cops raided her house the day before class even started
Those assholes are becoming so efficient
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
I gave the bathroom attendant $5 last night for turning the sink on for me. What. The. Fuck.
Nah, I was done when the Big Pun lookalike began to sob and tell me I looked like his ex...
Puked in the trash can. Took a bite of someone's breadstick and kept dancing and drinking
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
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