I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Am I texting you while being used as a stripper pole by two half-naked women? hint: I am.
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The worst that could happen is you end up with a black eye and I get laid.. I'm okay with my end of that bargain.
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Only thing that feels right is being horizontal in the fetal position
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
last night I used snow as a chaser
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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