It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
Easy Mac is falling out of my sweatshirt as I'm walking down the street.
In one night, this kid threw a firecracker under a fucking cop car, crashed three seperate parties, and passed out in a tree in our backyard. Do you even know who he is?
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
I just won a riveting game of "who can drink the most vodka out of a hollowed out watermelon". Fucking New Yorkers.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
We watched Jurassic Park and they made me drink every time they saw or named a dinosaur. Do you know how many dinosaurs live in Jurassic Park? Lots.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
If I die, sorry about rent.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
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