I just single handedly caused ferngully by printing the wrong 900 page document
I woke up to a text that said "You're a fucking asshole" Why is she so pissed at me?
Im guessing it has something to do with running up to her boyfriend screaming "THIS IS SPARTA" and kicking him in the balls.
Is that considered a cock block?
So someone hacked my email and facebook and posted a boob pic I took a few years ago as my profile picture. I feel like an MTV commercial.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
I got kicked out because I puked again I'm on the fire truck outside
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
The only reason I know his name is because we wrote marriage vows in orange crayon on the back of a Walmart receipt.
I'm serious-it was like trying to deep-throat a minivan.
just put a ruler in a cup trying to measure how much ivve had to drink..... God help me
I'm so glad you haven't fallen off any more yachts
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
I don’t have enough daddy issues for this shit, make him go away
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