I wanna wear you like a flannel shirt
Do u think I can claim pregnancy as an accident so my insurance covers it?
So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
dude you said you were going to be a human flag and climbed the telephone pole and fell in front of a car
You would think the bank would reward me for getting my account down to 3 cents without overdrafting it.
That money I left you should go to the stripper that fell asleep in your bed. Sorry
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
Randomize
