I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
my bed looks and feels like i need to buy plan b.
the fair has chocolate covered bacon...impossible is nothing.
she's telling me all about the love triangles of her sims. you tell me how it's going.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
The last time I went to Vegas and the sun started to rise, my copilot went home with her nipples pierced.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
THE CEO RESPONDED TO THE MEMO WITH HIS "UNICORN" EMAIL ADDRESS AND NOW HE'S APOLOGIZING TO EVERYONE FOR USING HIS PERSONAL EMAIL AT WORK.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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