i hope push ups and a ton of orange juice gets rid of chlamydia
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
corona bottle fell out of my backpack and broke in the middle of my physics midterm. yay me.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
Sorry, I am not your wing girl tonight,. in my pjs, eating cereal from the box. Hell I only shaved the inside of my legs just so they wouldn't itch. Not happening.
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
Oh no. Did we do a blood oath again?!
He told me that he wants to fuck me only wearing a princess tiara...How could I possibly say no to that?
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
This is a friendly reminder to try not to shit on the toilet seat. If our 4 year old can manage it, I think you can too.
he made that chewbacca noise when he came. like father like son i guess.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
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