No I'm not okay I had a crush on the singer of Tokio Hotel for four months and now you tell me he's a dude?
Wow, being the totally hot and slutty looking 30 year old lady on the dance floor does NOT necessarily mean that she has skills in bed.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
i got us a cheese tray and a bottle of whiskey
ugh yes i love our date nights
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Still dying that you shit outside
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
Randomize
