If you think im a hippy you should see these girls. They would scissor mother nature if they had the chance.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
i think i have two assholes
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Dude you called me last night to let me listen to you piss in a cup and drink it. Just making sure you survived
Eating meat and looking at porn while roommate is at church for Ash Wednesday. Win.
unrelatedly i think im gonna download boogie nights just to see mark wahlberg's penis
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
I think i'm going to homewreck at this Disney on Ice show.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Randomize
