Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
As a general rule, drunkenness and gymnastics do not mix.
Hey is there a picture of me in a trash can on your phone?
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
I just want to have normal problems like what kind of puppy to get, or should I pay a hooker to fuck Scott, or even a dilemma about fucking Twizzlers. I don't know.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There are some things you can ever unsee. And walking in on your dad jerking off is one of those things.
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Tip of the day: Don't Amazon vibrators when your WHOLE FAMILY uses your prime account. There's dildo after dildo showing up in my "Related to Items You've Viewed" category on the home page.
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
i think it’s okay to see him. you just can’t wind up with his penis in your mouth again
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