I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
the drag queen on stage looks like shes wearing the EXACT same dress i wore 2 senior prom.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
that's why i date skinny girls, they don't realize how small it is.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
Dude before you bang that chick preheat the oven to 425 I wanna make a pizza for afties
I don't even know if I LIKE sober sex any more.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You declared war on your ex and then had sex with who you thought was her sister. No one knows who she was but we think your dick might be in danger.
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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