Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
When you told me you were coming to my show, I didn't know you were bringing Satan and Brokeback Mountain with you.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
He wants to make love to me in a sea of paint and wash my tears away with the brushes surrounding us..I've known him for 2 days.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
I was woken up at 4am by a stranger shaking my foot who said I looked like I needed a cigarette.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
They just dared her to tape flip flops to her tits. Entertainment value cannot be found like this in any other part of America.
Thanks for being the best husband and reassuring my fuck buddy that you're comfortable with my adultery. You da real MVP.
She's just a lonely cunt and i hope she stays that way for the rest of her fucking life.
This seems like an over reaction to someone eating your fries.
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