They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I was up until 12:30 making that damned grammar test for my freshmen then I caught myself running through the verb tenses when I was giving him head.
"I have sucked, I will suck, I will have suck, I am sucking..." I've never felt more like a nerdier slut than last night.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
Monday morning margarita madness at ny house. Yes before wheel of fortune. Yes day drinking.
Note to self: semen does not count as food to take medicine with
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
If a girl called me a promiscuous philandering Casanova, should I say thank you?
Most definitely.
I'm going to avoid eye contact because my old high school English teacher is not who I feel like seeing after I just had a dick in my mouth
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I haven’t sent any nudes yet in 2018.
That’s not true...is it?
Well I just masturbated while reading a recipe for Alfredo sauce so I guess you could say I’m growing up
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