it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
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Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Honestly, if you can handle putting socks on you can handle a condom.
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
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some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I danced my ass off after the funeral last night. Kept dropping it low and I can feel it in my legs today. Im like shit I needa go work out
What a way to honor the dead
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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