jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Discovery: there is a folder in my pictures labeled "Your Name and cats"
FUCK IM ABOUT TO GET A DICK PIC IN THE LIBRARY
1. so the new neighbor u called dibs on.. I'm sorry..but not really. 2. She lactates, I guess that happens when you have a kid less then 5 months ago.... WTF!! 3. Is it fucked up I'm craving Ceral & Milk now?
And why in he fuck did I get 'dick' in Romanian tattooed on my forearm
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
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