I printed and framed a picture of a seagull shitting, and hung it in my house. I'm waiting to see how long it takes everyone to notice.
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
its not a holiday until ive ruined the family picture because im drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
I am as serious as getting herpes in Mexico...
What do herpes have to do with anything?
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
I sang Seal's Kiss From a Rose to my quesadilla
Nah leave him alone, he is at the strip club with his mom.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
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