never. drinking. again.
lets not get ahead of ourselves.
Ate lunch. Still drunk. Keep forgetting I'm in Texas but then I look around at the people and remember.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
You looked up at me and said "I'm getting a mattress made out of this SHIT. Goodbye certa hellllllllo concrete!" then you started counting sheep
Her next conquest seems to be stealing her ex-boyfriend's new girlfriend. Pretty sure everyone involved is totally OK with this.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
He's the stereotypical redneck. He tried to go kayaking during a storm and almost got into a fight when a park ranger tried to stop him
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
DUDE. HOLY FUCK MY PRINCIPAL WAS JUST MY UBER DRIVER. I AM LITERALLY TRAUMATIZED. ANS DRUNK. HOLY FUCK OMG
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
Randomize
