i think i gave myself a perma-hangover. or god just hates me.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
He leaned in to kiss me and I dodged him but i fell on the floor. I guess I never got up cuz I woke up on the floor and he was in his bed
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
It was one of those nights where you get back from the bar and end up staying up till 3AM beating off to facebook photos of girls from college
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
You tried to tip the Uber driver with a meatball sub. Then, when he refused your meatball sub...you demanded he take you to the corner with the hookers. The valet has your keys and water balloons. I'm glad you're only in Chicago for the weekend.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Randomize
