Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
It would be celebrated in history as "the orgasm heard round the world"
Found a guy passed out on the coffee table with a thong duct taped from ear to ear.
I feel like today should be a " im going to have sex with you cause its raining and theres nothing else to do" kinda day
only in a texas roadhouse would someone whistle while I was breastfeeding.
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
And then we will celebrate by drinking and making fun of him. As per usual.
Yes. I will keep putting the beer into my stomach and eventually the bartender will make a mistake
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
It's going to be like a slumber party but with ketamine
I opened my eyes to the dog snorting coke, I decided it was best to just close my eyes and forget what I saw
I'm covered in jizz and the toll booth lady knew it
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
